The Birth of a Pixie
by Curlscat
Summary: Based off a picture on deviantART by Lizalot. How ARE pixies born, anyway? Guys, I wrote this badly on purpose. The point is the review guide at the end, which everyone should read because nobody reviews. Ignore the story, actually. It stinks.
1. Campfire Circle Reviews

**AN~ Those of you who know me will have to suffer through this. Those of you who don't, (and those of you who do), read it all the way through, please! I'll make it worth it, I promise.**

**Disclaimer: Michael Buckely and Amulet Books own the rights to The Sisters Grimm. Lizalot of deviantART owns the rights to the picture 'really random glowing'. Many other people are owed other things, but I forget who they actually are. I didn't really do much.**

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><p>Sabrina was sitting in her room reading when Puck came in. "Hey Grimm." he said, "want ot watch somethign really cool?"<p>

"Sure, puck." Sabrina said. "what is it?" "There's a new pixie going to be born." Puck said. It's going to be great!"

"I didn't know pixiesgot born." Sabrina said, confused. "I though they hatched, or grew out of flowers, or something." Course, she'd never really thought about pixie births before. They weren't really alive, not even seperate beings in her mind. Just... there.

She followed Puck to his room watching for pranks as she went and followed him deep into the forest. IT was dark and scary in a way that she hadn't remembered it being last time she was in it, but then she'd never gone that deep into the woods before.

Pixies started to

show up, just floating there, glowing in the darkness, and none of them made any noise. Some followed Puck, but most stayed away,

"Why aren;t they talking or moving?" Sabrina asked.

"Sh!" Puck hissed. "This is a serious moment! No talking, otherwise the pixies will get mad!"

"OK." Sabrina said, and Puck shushed her again.

They kept walking, and the hovering pixies kept getting thicker and thicker, until it was almost impossible for Sabrina to fit through- she had to follow in Puck's wake, and was grateful that he had gotten so much taller recently- and cuter, and cleaner, and... No! Bad thoughts! She did NOT like Puck. Anyway. The pixies moved out of his way, without actually seeming to move, but stayed in her way. It wasn't fair. Why didn't they move for her?

Eventually, they came to a space where there were no pixies at all for about two hundred yards in a circle. Sabrna stopped, but Puck grabbed her hand and pulled her forward, causeing her heart to beat a little faster.

when they were in the of the clearing, Puck stopped and pulled sabrina down with him as he lay on the ground. Sabrina laid down facing him, and Puck grabbed her other hand.

she was dying to ask him what was going on, but sabrina was too scared. What if he yelled at her? Plus, she felt somethign between her cupped hands, and it appeared to be growing. THat was strange. When had that gotten there?

And now it was glowing, the thing between her fists. Puck squeezed her hands encouragingly as she stared, entranced. She gazed at their clasped hands for what could have been hours, as the glowing thing grew brighter and brighter and bigger and bigger and the glow became less blue and more golden, until it began to _move_.

"Wow." Sabrina couldn't resist whispering.

Puck grinned at her, and let go of her hands. Sabrina tentatively moved her hands away from each other, too, and the Pixie stood there, on the palm of her bottom hand, for a few seconds, staring around at the world in wonder, until, it flew off to join its brethren.

"That was... amazing." Sabrina breathed, sitting up.

Puck, who was already on his feet, offered a hand to Sabrina, who took it as he pulled her to a standing postition.

"But where did it comefrom?" Sabrina asked.

"I put the egg in your hand." Puck confessed. "But a pixie, after the parents have an egg, needs a human and a fairy for the egg to hatch."

"Wel,, I'm honored." Sabrina said. "thanks. I'll treasure that forever.

**All right, so I may have coerced you into reading this with a crap excuse for a story just to get you in here. Wait wait wait, stop. I see what you're doing there. Step away from the back button. That's it. There you go. Keep reading. This will be good for you. And hopefully kind of funny, too. Like lima beans.**

**Right. I brought you here today because we're going to talk about reviews. Specifically, _how_ to review. Say you just read my story up there, that piece of junk for which I now owe Lizalot on deviantART an apology, and let's pretend for a minute that it was my very best attempt, and that I thought I had done a good job. You get to the bottom of the story, and instead of this author's note, you see the review button. You are faced with several choices.**

1) You could not leave a review at all. **This is what most people do. It's understandable. Writing a review takes time and thought and effort, especially if you have to think up a way to be nice, or you don't know what to say, or you actually want to write a well-rounded critique. I would say it's nothing to be ashamed of, but that would be a lie. You _should_ be ashamed of yourself. I know I'm ashamed of myself. I could go on a rant about how fanfiction is supposed to be a community, not just writers and readers, but you don't want to hear it. But I'd just like to say that, if you have an account, and you know what it's like to want reviews, you really ought to write more of them for other people.**

**Now, let's say I successfully guilted you into writing me a review for that story. You still have several other options. I'm going to categorize the types of review in forms of food, because I'm hungry and it fits.**

2) You could leave me a flame. **Thankfully, flames aren't very common in the Sisters Grimm category. But I'm honestly not sure most of you know exactly what a flame even is, so for your benefit, I will provide a definition and an example.**

Flame, _(n)_: A review intended to hurt the writer, different from a toast in that it is directed at the author, not the story.

Example: OMG That storee suxxx. Y do u even get up in the morning, u idiot? u shud never b allowed near a computer again cuz ur that awful. Go kill urself. Do the world a favur.

**Don't do that. It's awful, and people who enjoy that really should seek help before they lose all their friends. **

3) You could leave me a marshmallow.** Marshmallows are the opposite of flames, and the most common type of review to be written. **

Example: OMG ur story is lyke totalE amAzing! I luv it! Keep writing!1!11!1

**There are two reasons people write marshmallows.**

**1) They have no taste, and actually enjoyed the story.**

**Or 2) They're too nice to be honest.**

**If you chose number one, I can't help you. Go away and come back in two years. Hopefully by then you'll be more mature and know the difference between a good story and a bad one,**

**If you chose number two, don't be fooled. Just because you're being nice, that doesn't make the lie any less hurtful. It's worse, actually. Because you're going to review stories like this, and the writer is going to think that they are honestly a high-quality writer. This is going to keep going on until someone like me comes along and gives them an honest opinion, usually in a not particularly tactful manner. Then the writer is either going to get mad at me for not seeing his/her genius, or going to wonder why you, the _nice_ reviewer, lied to them for all this time. Don't stop being nice, but stop lying, please.**

3) You could leave me a gram cracker. **Gram crackers are nothing reviews, either written because the reviewer had nothing to say or, again, was too nice to be honest, but didn't want to lie.**

Example: Update update update!

**Or:**

Is this going to be a twoshot?

**That's great. We're all glad you reviewed. But leaving a review that says nothing is like telling the author that the story didn't evoke any response in you. As if it's boring, or if not boring, just... flat. It's like going to see a play and not clapping or laughing at the funny parts. It's discouraging.**

4) You could write a toast. **Toasts are the kind of review I usually write. They're like medicine. You need it, but you don't really want it. A toast is a review that tells an author what they did wrong, and _only_ what they did wrong. Usually in detail.**

Example: This was... Well. You need some help. Ever considered getting a Beta? Or proofreading? Because you have many spelling errors, you don't punctuate properly, your paragraphs aren't divided up correctly, your capitalization was spotty, and the plot was rushed. I would have liked much more story inside this; it's very short. Also, Sabrina and Puck were both OOC, and there was a spot where you left out some words.

**It's better than a flame or a marshmallow, but it's still not nice. I'm working on fixing it, and I apologize to anyone whose feelings I have hurt by writing a review like this.**

5) You could write a Chocolate review.** These are the most wonderful kind of review to get. A chocolate review tells the writer a specific thing that the reader liked about the story, or asks a question about something that confused the reader. It lets the writer know you were paying attention, and shows how you reacted to a certain part. Everyone loves to get chocolate reviews.**

Example: This is an interesting concept. It's very original. You were creative to come up with that backstory for pixies (I don't think they get enough attention, do you?), and it's nice to see a new idea. I'll go check out the picture!

**A lot of stories get almost nothing but chocolate reviews, because they're well-written. It's fine if that's all you can write. However, t****here is one final kind of review, the review that everyone should strive for.**

6) The S'more.

**A s'more combines every single kind of review except the flame and the gram cracker (even though s'mores have gram crackers. Deal with it). It responds to specific parts of the story, telling the author how you felt, what you liked, what you didn't like, where you laughed, and such. It points out any mistakes the author made and offers suggestions for the future. It tells the author to keep up the good work, and it asks questions about the story.**

Example: Well, you have a wonderful idea here. I really like it. However, it could use some improvement. I'd try reading this out loud to yourself and editing it as you go, because your errors make it kind of hard to follow. You really ought to watch your mechanics, and remember that you can't trust Fanfiction's spellcheck function. Always reread. You also seem to have rushed this quite a bit. One more thing, before you publish something, you should always ask yourself, 'is this something the characters would say/do?' Because that keeps you from getting too OOC. Anyway, keep writing, 'cause that's the only way to get better, and I think you're a really creative writer who just needs a bit of help!

**You have ten thousand characters, guys! Use them! And if you know you don't have time to leave a real review, then you probably don't have time to be reading the story in the first place! Don't read stories unless you plan to leave some kind of feedback!**

**Now, it's not just the readers that are at fault here. There are a lot of authors that don't encourage reviews, either by demanding a certain number (bad form, people. It makes you look immature, whiny, and like you only care about the numbers) or by not responding to questions. It's very easy to respond to a review from anyone with an account. Harder for anonymous reviewers, but... hey.**

**So let's try to make fanfiction a community based on conversation as much as writing and reading, shall we? Less ghost readers, maybe.**

**It would be so funny if I got no reviews for this.**

*** Example reviews have been enhanced for comedic effect.**


	2. SUCCESS!

**Hooray! It worked!**

**Guess what? I got a flame! This makes me happy!**

**I know, you're thinking, 'Say wha...?'**

**But see, that story there, and nobody seems to understand this, but it was written badly on purpose. :D I tried to write a fail of a story so that people would see how marshmallow reviews are kind of stupid when you write them for every story. So it was kind of disappointing when I got a lot of 'oh, it's not that bad...' comments. Nobody seemed to understand that I wasn't being detrimental, I was actually being honest when I said that the story was a piece of crud.**

**It was also there because it's illegal to post ANs as stories and because I figured if I advertized Puckabrina people would read it who wouldn't otherwise. But the WHOLE POINT of the story was to get to the massive AN at the end. Nobody seemed to get that, not even the flamer.**

**In fact, this review was such a perfect example of a flame that I'm going to copy it here for all of you to see! **

All in all, this was some of the wordt fucking crap I've ever read. Seriously, all the characters were ooC, it had too mant spelling errors, and frankly, you butt-sucking asshole, it was ultimatley shit.

If I had to sum up this story, I'd just say, some lonley cat lady with no kids of her own decided to write about the birth of fucking sparkly damn pixies. it involved ooc crap, splling errors.

And was so hell fucking bad, I actually bothered to check my spelling, and that's saying something. So goodbye, you negative-two-cent-crapshit-talking cat lady.

~the flaming ReViEwEr

**So, to: _the flaming ReViEwEr: _Thank you! I succeeded! You made my day! I did it all on purpose! I wish you'd understood that it was a farce, too, but hey, at least you were honest. I put the spelling errors and OOC (not ooC, btw) behaviors on purpose. However, I am neither a butt-sucking asshole (something is wrong with that description. It's physically impossible) nor a lonely cat lady. I'm eighteen, have no pets of my own, live with my family.**

**Just a question, though. Why do you enjoy trolling like this? I mean, yes, the story was awful, but you don't have to be a jerk about it. _I_ don't mind, but I have a thick skin. There are other people who don't, and you're probably hurting their feelings a lot, because I assume I'm not the first person you've done this to. Also, if you're going to do this, at least get an account so that people can respond. It makes you look cowardly to review anonymously. Gotta take if you can dish, my friend.**

**Also, one more point: You're yelling at me for my grammatical errors, right? And you told me you bothered to check your spelling. (You missed a few things, btw.) So, why are you all 'grahhh! misspellings!' when you feel that you yourself are above that? Double standards are killers, you know. They make you look kind of stuck-up and/or stupid.**

**I hope I have improved the quality of your future flames, at least, since I know I can't make you stop, no matter how immature you're being. :D**

**To_ lol:_ I'm glad you reviewed, very grateful, but... what did you want to say? Do you agree with my list of review types? Disagree? Think I'm an idiot who should shove her head in a bucket?**

_**Demigod536:**_** You _liked_ that story? Really? (insert skeptical face here) I purposely copied mistakes I've seen other people make. And made them OOC.**

_**sorry cant log in:**_** Yes, you do need spelling help... Again, the story was bad on purpose. I was writing out my butt.**

_**squirriel101:**_** Yes it was, don't lie to me. The POINT was the review thing.**

_**SunsetTiger:**_** You UNDERSTOOD! And, yes, the story at the top was just to get people here who would ignore this otherwise.**


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